Why oh why do my kids always come out with their funniest or their most shocking observations and questions when I'm driving and need to concentrate?
Take the other day, there I am just driving along chatting to the kids, cursing stupid drivers and moaning about yet more rain when up pipes The Girl "mum you know that book we've got about vagina's?"!
"Err no"! squawks me in utter shock whilst trying not to rear end the car in front, whose driver must have chosen the exact moment my brain went into shock to hit their breaks.
Trust me I absolutely do not know about any such book!
I say nothing but boy is my mind racing.....what book, how she has found it and, oh my God, what kind of smutty pictures she has seen in it?!?!
"You know" says The Girl "that book with rude pictures in"?
In the space of 10 seconds since she first spoke I've decided it's obviously The Husbands fault, it's his book, he's hidden it somewhere and The Girl's found it and I'm going to bloody throttle him then file for divorce.
Just as I'm wondering how I'm going to explain about pornography to a nine year old she remembers the name of this rude book about vagina's.....The Encyclopedia of Life.
My relief is palpable and I can carry on saving for the Silver Wedding Celebration.